Another Angel

Wow..what can I say?
Devastated, but somewhat at peace with what has happened.

All the excitement, getting to tell Drew he was going to be a big brother, seeing the heartbeat of my precious peanut baby, the sickness, the acne...all to end so soon with nothing to show for it.

I know God has a plan for my family. I know he answered a prayer that I prayed day-in and day-out, "Lord, please let this baby be healthy..." But it still hurts.

This is miscarriage number two for us. I guess it hurts more and more each time, but gets easier to handle when we are so blessed to have a perfect little boy with us in between them both. So many people go through the same thing, and it is so sad. I pray for them too.

It's hard to get back into the swing of things, knowing that what I was planning is gone now and we have to make a choice to start over or not try anymore. That's the hardest part.

You know what's so awesome about going through something so crappy? Friends. So many have said such nice things and I know there Have been strong prayers that I have felt since this happened that they have said.
And "awesomeness" #2? My husband who still loves me even though I am a raging bag of hormones. I am up and I am down. I am smiling I am crying. He hurts the same and yet manages to do what he promised God and I when we got married, to take care of me no matter what. I love you Brian so much, and I am so sorry.

I really thought long and hard about writing this on my blog page. I mean I don't share my feelings, nor do I typically publish them, but this is not just an "event" in my life. It is a learning process and an opportunity for others who do not know God to see just what he can do for us. He is giving me strength every minute, and I know that my precious peanut is safe in Jesus's arms. So because of His promise I will get to see that little soul one day.

So thanks for those who have prayed, called, wrote me a note. We appreciate it, more than you'll ever know.